To lie or not to lie?

I have a super duper pet peeve that I want to explain today:

I've been guilty of misrepresenting myself or my circumstances before. Either because I was too embarrassed to look at the reality of things or because I was trying to impress someone (a boss, friend, acquaintance, boyfriend). Truth be told, "misrepresenting" and "exaggerating" are fancy (punk-out) ways of lying. Merriam-Webster says that "to lie" is to "create a false or misleading impression".

On to my pet peeve: liars. People who try to present themselves as "having it all together" when there are more than a few things askew in their lives. People who pretend to have all the necessary finances, equipment, resources, connections, etc. to do everything they need and want, when in actuality they are in need.

These are freebies to the world and to anyone who'd like to be my friend (and yes, it comes from a slightly frustrated place)-

You may be tempted to lie because you're afraid the truth may hurt or anger another person. You know those times when you're supposed to meet a friend or your spouse and you just left the house and got on the highway but when they call you tell them you're "right around the corner" or you just boldly say you are on "such and such street" knowing that you are seven minutes away from reaching that street? This is a lie. It is unfair to the person waiting on you. Just try the truth. "Honey, I'm so sorry that I left late, I'm only on such and such road, but I will be there in about 10 minutes. Please forgive me."

You may also be tempted to lie because you want to impress someone. You know those times when you say to your girlfriend that you got an awesome financing deal on your car and that your payments are really low with low interest? Well guess what? If you end up marrying that woman, she will eventually find out that your payments are really $470 dollars per month. Just tell the truth.

You may lie because you intend to do something but then are not able to do it. Here's the deal. When you realize you are not going to be able to do something that you said you would, don't avoid the person. Don't make up stories about why you couldn't do that specific thing. Don't make it look like someone else's fault. #1 We can tell it's a lie. #2 The truth is so darn refreshing in situations like this. Just remember to communicate. It eases the disappointment. It can bring you closer to your friend and cause them to care more about your situation. Try the truth, "Hey, I'm sorry I can't go to dinner on Friday but my funds are kind of low right now and I don't think it would be wise with the bills that I have coming up." That's awesome, and it is a lot better than you just not showing up to dinner, or you saying something like, "My mom is ill".

That being said, I'm determined to not lie (exaggerate, deceive, mislead, whatever you want to call it to feel better about yourself). No good can come from a lie, unless it is a life or death situation, then by all means, please lie.

Emo

It is my belief that art cannot exist without emotions being used in three different ways:

(1) As artists we use emotions to help us create our art.
(2) We try to portray emotions through what we create.
(3) We want to engage/activate the emotions of our readers/listeners/viewers.

It is also my belief that most successful entrepreneurs in business do not exist without the use of emotions:

(1) Something appeals to our emotions and we decide to start a business.
(2) We have to fight past our emotions to build/operate a business by ourselves.
(3) We want to appeal to the emotions of our potential clients so that they will buy our product or service.

Emotions play an important role in your success as an entrepreneur or artist, or both. Here are some starter questions to ask yourself as you take on a new business idea or artistic endeavor:

Are you generally in control of your emotions?
How do you balance "the emotional" with "the practical"?
Do you feel that you have enough of "the practical" or logical systems/thoughts in place to be successful at what you are doing?
Are you too practical sometimes?
Does your project appeal to your emotions enough for you to want to see it through tough times?
Is your project or business idea viable in the current economy? Will it be viable if the economy changes before you complete it?
Will your project appeal to the emotions/needs of others?

The Other V-Day

I have officially made February 22 into "The Other V-Day". It is Vision Day. Today I'd like to take a moment to dream with you. I think it is important to have a vision for your future. How can you be truly focused on (and committed to) the tasks at hand if you can't see the purpose in them? The hard steps are easier when you know what they are leading to.

Whether you believe in the words of the Bible or not, I hope some of us can relate to the wisdom in Proberbs 29:18-

"Where there is no vision, the people perish..." (KJV)

I don't claim to interpret every bit of scripture correctly and there are certainly a few ways this could be understood but what I read from this is that a lack of vision will cause you to go nowhere fast. A vision provides purpose and a sense of meaning for when you have to work through hard moments. Do you have a vision for the things you are working on right now? What is your dream?

I'd like to encourage everyone to write a vision statement for themselves. It can be something you share with a close friend or no one at all. Write down your vision in plain language. Go back to these words when you feel yourself losing focus. Revisit your vision statement on a monthly basis to analyze what things you need to cut out of your schedule (because they don't line up with your dreams) and what things you need to apply more energy toward.

My Vision Statement:
To continually position myself in areas that will allow me to use the gift of writing and business to help or inspire others. To not limit myself geographically; to reach out to people of other cities and nations, while learning from them and helping them in the ways God has purposed.

You don't have to share your vision statement unless you want to...but please think about writing one (if you don't already have one) and see if it helps you efficiently select current and future activities and decisions.
photo: jlcwalker

The "I'm Gonna" Disease

Of late, people suffering from the legendary "I'm Gonna" disease have been running rampant in my life. I hate this disease. I've had it many times before but I'm trying to build up my immune system against it. I don't really enjoy associating with individuals while they suffer from this affliction.

What is the "I'm Gonna" disease?
It's that thing that makes you talk about your plans, but never follow through with them. While this is permissible as an "every once in a while" kind of thing, repeat offenders are classified as having the "I'm gonna" disease.

Examples:
You drop and break my television. I don't ask you for a new one or anything but you say "I'm gonna get you another one." Two years later, you're still saying the same thing.

You have BIG dreams for your career. Every time you talk to your friends you tell them about how much writing you are gonna get done, how many new songs you're gonna record, the people you're gonna meet, and the seven places you're gonna go this year. It begins to get a bit old when you don't do any of it.

You're talking on the phone with someone. Something comes up. Instead of just excusing yourself normally, you tell the person you are gonna call them back in two minutes. They never hear from you, or you call them back the next day. You do this multiple times per week. Guess what? That person will probably be okay if you just say, "I've gotta go." There life will still go on. However, when you start to talk about what you're gonna do, it can get confusing...

You are the roommate/spouse/guest/child who says, "No, don't worry about the trash, I'm gonna take it out," or "I'm gonna wash all my dishes today," or "I'm gonna clean up that mess I made in the bathroom in a few minutes." We begin to wonder what you mean three days later when we are the ones cleaning up after you. This is especially confusing when the person in question is a grown up.

And finally, you are the business associate (co-worker, client, boss, whoever) that is always saying they're gonna e-mail a certain document, they're gonna update you when such and such happens, they're gonna pay you for the job you did last week. Okay we get it! By "I'm gonna" you mean you have absolutely no intention of doing it and you are just saying it because you know we want to hear it.

Good intentions or not, sometimes the "I'm gonna" disease translates to empty words and broken promises. If you are a habitual "I'm gonna"-er then please, seek help today. Do it for your loved ones; do it for yourself. Start to use words like "I'm not sure if I'll be able to...", or "I'd like to...but I may not have the time", or even, "I can't do such and such. I'm sorry." Don't be like me. I used to try to do everything for everyone and promise the world to those around me. I'd like to apologize to all those who have been the victim of me and this disease!

Part of being a successful artist or business person is knowing your boundaries and being honest about your limits or capabilities. Have you suffered from this disease? Do you know people like this?

My language

So, if you haven't checked out my post last week about James Robinson, a singer & songwriter that I truly admire, please do so by clicking here.

Today I want to talk about language. Those special words and phrases that only you (and possibly a few close friends or family) use. I've been known to make up or adopt some zingers in my time, for example:

craptacular: spectacular amounts of crap

stallywomp: (pronounced stall-e-whomp) an utter beat down, usually used in reference to sports

• ex: "The Dolphins stallywomped the Cowboys yesterday."
• translation: The Dolphins are the best team in the NFL and the only team to ever go a whole season undefeated and win the Super Bowl

interesting: something questionable or craptacular (usually said in a long, drawn-out manner)

• A friend says, "Regina, how do you like my new haircut?"
• Regina says, "Interrresssstttinng, are you gonna grow it out again?"
• translation: "What in the world have you done to yourself?!!"

skittles: a celebratory phrase

• ex: I've been working on a customer's press kit design for 32 hours straight and I finally decide to change the font in the lower left hand corner of the package, and boom! Magic. I would say, "Skittles. That's it," all while shaking my spirit fingers.

Flipper the dolphin: replacement for all bad words

• ex: Regina runs into the table with her knee causing her to spill her 100%, not from concentrate weird green juice all over her brand new white Chuck Taylors.
• Regina would then say, "Flipper the dolphin!!! Can a lady catch a break?"

So, what are some of your favorite words or phrases that you've incorporated into your language? If you are writing a book right now, what types of phrases do your characters use that are unique to them or their region?

See, you get strange topics like this when I engage in slogging (sick blogging). Sorry.

James Robinson and The Neo Jazz Movement

Recently, a music artist grabbed my attention that has a sound unlike any I’ve heard in quite some time, and I had to share my thoughts (I'll post a link to the article I wrote about him soon). James Robinson has captured the essence of feel good music. Many artists wish to transcend genres with their sound, but few can achieve it. When you think of artists like Stevie Wonder or Sade, you can’t automatically classify them. Robinson’s music has the same effect and reminds me of greats like Prince or Maxwell, who both make soulful, jazzy music that is complimented by many other sounds. James Robinson’s brand of jazz is something I’ve termed Neo Jazz since it is heavily influenced by Alternative Rock, Rhythm & Blues, Soul, Funk and the 70’s Punk Era.

James is a songwriter, musician (guitar and piano), and producer, in addition to being a singer. His sultry vocals are simultaneously intense and smooth. I can’t help but have a physical reaction to his music; the melodies stimulate your body while his words activate your mind. When you hear his music you’ll be able to tell that he sings from a genuine place and his soulful sound has the power to take you there with him.

I know I don't talk music often, so I hope you'll take me seriously when I say that I recommend you check out his site: http://jamesrobinson83.blogspot.com to hear or purchase some of his music. If you go, don't leave his website until you’ve at least listened to his “Jazz Medley” and “Vivian”. I listen to this music often while I'm writing or working. It helps me focus. What kind of music do you listen to while working?

P.S. You can also catch James Robinson in rotation online on KRSPL Radio (http://www.krsplradio.com/).

You can't see him real well, but here's a video of him performing one of his original pieces:

Photo: (c)James Robinson

Being Prepared at a Moment's Notice

This is a list of very simple (as in Elementary level) things that you can do as an artist each week –that are absolutely free – that will help your outlook and your art. They will also help you to be prepared for opportunities that come your way.

Be Social
Introduce yourself to a few new people each week. As an artist, the impression you leave with people is very important. Word-of-mouth gets around faster and is more effective than any form of marketing. Be nice to the people you interact with. Ask them what they do; tell them about what you do. Leave them a business card. Genuinely figure out if there is anything you can do to help them, or if you know of someone who can help them with their goals.

Start with a Positive Attitude
A friend of mine starts each day by making a list of ten things that they are thankful for. I start my day by focusing on the positive things I get to do that day and by thanking God for just being Him. Whatever you do in the morning, start with a fresh outlook (regardless of the day before) and think positively about your new day.

Be Proactive
If you are a writer, then write every day. If you are an actress, take an acting class, look for gigs or join a community group with similar interests. If you are a music artist, write music, sing and brainstorm every day. Time is a precious gift that we must not waste. Even if I have a crazy day, I try to write at least a paragraph of something and look for new opportunities in my field.

Be Ready
Try to have a decent backstock of articles, images, songs, or paintings (or whatever you do) so that if something comes up, you're ready. Also, they don't have to be in perfect condition, but maintain your website and  blog, so that people can find you on the Internet. (Yes, I realize that I have offended the "maintain your blog" policy of late, and I'm sorry!)

These are things I try to do more and more as I’m coming to realize how important my thought life and energy level is to the things I create and to my purpose. What things do you do throughout the week to help you stay "ready"? What things do you do that are important to your creative process?

image: lululemon athletica